HUGE UPDATE!!!

OK... I have been like on BREAK since the last time I posted in!  In my last post I was 193 pounds!  Well... I would like to say I am that still or less... however, that would not be true!  I found it terribly hard to focus on loosing the weight as my adoption grew closer -- we traveled to China-- I had good intentions, but they were just that, intentions!  I had gained to 198 before China (Oct. 2012) -- and surprisingly enough, I did not gain in China -- when I ate terribly unhealthy while there! We returned home Nov. 1 - I tried to get back on track... I would do good, then bad, good, then bad... Holidays were here, stress from different corners of life -- and here I am -- I weight a whopping 215!!!  But, I am not down and out!  I am getting back on track! Sugar is a drug and enemy, no matter how it comes, in carb form or just raw, I  prefer mine in carb form (breads and potatoes!) it is a drug none the less!  So... as of today, it is out! I have to get my weight under control!  I have to get it where it needs to be and formulate a "lifestyle" that I can live with!  Yes, I hate watching EVERY SINGLE THING! -- but it is either that or stay FAT! I hate fat!  I hate feeling and looking like an unhealthy person!  I want it eliminated!  I am trying this without  HCG! No added hormones!  If I can't loose, then I guess I'll go back on it... but I am trying this the old fashion way -- no sugars/carbs other than that found in low glycemic veggies!  Good fats and a decent amount of protein for the day!  So... as a means of accountability I will use CalorieCount or Fitday.com to track my calories/protein-- or just post on here to keep a record! 
I will also take a picture, and track my weight like I did on HCG -- if I have fruit, only those that HCG allows -- however I did have unsweetened grapefruit juice today -- it was bitterly good!  :)  I am aquiring a taste for it!  I have decided no Xylitol either for at least 2 weeks to get sweetness out of my system! 
Today so far:
1/2 cup chicken salad that I made (cream cheese, chicken, celery and pecans)
1 piece of turkey breast
1 pickle
1/4 cup pecans
Water

I will have baked chicken for supper-- and a can of tuna for snack a little later on....
I have to work to get that protein in there!  I am going to try to make a protein shake if needed to up my protein intake!  I will track my weight tomorrow -- I have to make it down to 193 asap -- I feel good there!  Then from there I want to make it to 163!  then to 153-- I will consider that GOAL!!!! 
Exercise? I hate it!  I don't mind being honest!  I do hate it... however I know I have got to find a way to be more active and get that in there!  My friend tells me if I can just do 30min good 4 times per week and keep it up!  I have to make it happen!  I don't know just how I am going to do it  yet -- but I will do something today, even if it is just for 10 minutes!  It is COLD outside -- so walking does not sound good! 

Here is a picture of where I am today -- these are size 16 pants and they are tighter than they should be and a size 16/18 turtleneck -- I was getting into size 14's very nicely -- so I hate having my clothes be too tight on me right now! I HATE IT!! Food is just a temporal feel good, then you pay for it with  your weight, looks, health, etc!
Here are pics...yes, this hurts me to post them... but I am not concerned with vanity, I am concerned with accountability and the true desire to be in better health.